By Christine Covode
The Sun Always Sets
I’ve been thinking a lot about the moments in life that we wish would last forever; those belly laughs with your best friend that make you massage your cheeks after the relentless smiling, the first kiss you have with your boyfriend after months of being long distance, the view from the top of a mountain, a final day in a place you have called home for years, these are just a few of the moments I wish would last forever. But the belly laughs fade as you and your friend blink back to neutral faces, still spurting out a few more giggles until the moment is finally over. I think that is such an interesting moment, the moment a really hard laugh tapers out- it’s like the seconds following a surprise party, the mood has lifted after the surprise happens but nothing is as sweet as the second the birthday girl walks through the door. Nothing is as sweet as looking into the eyes of someone else and sharing a laugh together, knowing you are both safe and comfortable and in a positive space together where for just a moment, absolutely everything is okay. This paragraph is bad and I know that, but I just have to get it out of my system…because I can’t stop holding onto moments- I am hyper vigilant of their endings and romanticize their meaning in my internal diary. Instead of letting moments wash over me with blissful ignorance I observe their departure, always noticing the overwhelming truth that everything in this life expires; it returns to the past and nestles itself safely in the precious confines of memory. The sun always sets, even if it’s the most wonderful sunset your eyes have ever seen.
I have found that the greatest challenge in this fact is trying to accept the deaths of our moments: to learn to appreciate each tick on life’s clock. Some ticks are better than others but it’s the journey the hand has around the dial that give our lives meaning. We learn what we love about life with each tick, with each phase of life or even each moment we experience. We learn what to look forward to and what to expect for ourselves. We learn what we deserve through experience and we learn how to seek fun and adventure through all the belly laughs that make us feel alive. I like playing with the idea of “What If” sometimes with friends or with myself. What if we could just stay on top of this mountain forever, what would happen to us? What if I took that sheep in the field right there and brought it into my car and took it home into my house and it became my sheep pet? What if I stayed in New Zealand and you two went home and I will just go live with random people I have never met before? What if I did that? Although the sun always sets I find it so cool that with each new day, with each passing moment, decisions can be made on how precisely we would like to spend our time. Anything is possible, any hurdle can be jumped with the right amount of confidence and curiosity.
That thing I wanted to see on the other side of the “what if” became true. I did stay in New Zealand and I did come live with random people and I did say goodbye to my two best friends at the Auckland airport for no other reason than to play the game; to paint another brushstroke on a perfectly finished painting. Maybe the stroke will ruin it. Maybe it’s the unforeseen pop of color it needed. Or maybe it doesn’t add anything at all, maybe the stroke goes unnoticed. The point is, I tried. I tried to see if a great painting could turn into an extraordinary one. I tried to say “what if” this moment lasted a little longer? What if I stopped the setting sun? What if?
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